Saturday, August 16, 2003

Hi everybody! I am at the library again racing against time.
I have been a real bipolar lately. The good thing is I know the signs now.
I haven't taken all my meds this week as prescribed because I am so sick of just feeling drugged up.
I take them; just not all as prescribed. Bad, bad, bad.
I have had a lot of anxiety worrying about the damn bioposy and then when will I get the results and when will the next appointment be, etc. I know we all spend time waiting but it isn't right.
meanwhile, they go out for their coctails after work until rush hour is died down; and have softball on Tuesday night, etc. while our lives are held in suspension.

I am just having a bad week I guess.
Oh ye of little faith right now, I suppose.

I was reading Kyle's parents reports of his progress or it may seem to some lack of it. I can really identify with him.
I need organization in my life. If things seem too chatic it is like I just can't process it all.
However, Kyle is of age and has to start establishing his own routines and becoming resposible for his progress or lack thereof, I think.
As far as the military idea, it may be a moot point because if he has a diagnosed mental illness he is probably disqualified.
He will probably be angry to learn this but life isn't always fair. He has to learn this lesson and it really is unfair to those of us with mental illness, I'm afraid. He could channel some of that anger into changing laws or becoming an advocate but I don't think he is far enough along yet.

I wish I could communicate with him. He is so blessed to have a family that suports and loves him just because he is Kyle.
I would love to let him know he isn't alone.
We could share stories of some of the misadventures we have been on.

Being bipolar has its moments. You do some real crazy stuff that makes perfect sense to you at the time. Its only later when you are medicated that you can look back and laugh at yourself.

I heard once that the real definition of insanity was continuing to do the same thing expecting the same results.
I think that sums it up.

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