Wednesday, February 11, 2004

I have thought about the subject matter I have written about since stating to wtite this blog. Being A Bipolar; having chronic pain with arthritis and fibromyalgia; being an incest survivor; living in my Christian faith; living in my home state of Ohio and living with my wonderful son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter
and granddog, Jake; moving back to Texas to be with the one I loved and then to be abused and to chronicle the events of the shelter life and the stastistics I have learned.
I guess the domestic violence issue is the hardest to write about because it is about the ones you love. For me it starts from the ones who gave me life and to whom I should have been able to look upon for help and guidandanceand safety.
I wonder did I do that effectively for my own children since I didn't know what it was for myself.
It scares the hell out of me to think I could have failed them in such a basic way.
It really does. The love I have for them is so overwhelming it makes my heart want to burst. They all just don't know.
I have tried to control my emotions in recent years to allow them to be themselves and not overpower them with my own stuff.
Kids, your Mom does and always will love you.

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