Sunday, February 08, 2004

The Lord is doing amazing things here. The lady I have become close to and I got our extensions; we didn't think we would. We had run into all kind of obstacles. Now we have new ones we are facing. I started new medication and it has me me very groggry. At the same time I came down with a head and chest cold and a bad cough and a virus the doc said. He said it could turn bacterial and I have used up my medication allotment for the month so I am standing in Jesus" name that it won't.
I am so sore fro coughing so much. The weather has been cold and damp.
We are heading into a really cold week.
I am supposed to put in ten job applications which the law firm handling the disability case objects to because it will hurt my case so I have that to contend with.
It will work out because God has it in His Hands.
One of the girls who said she wanted to be saved was not for real as we found out as has left the shelter. Bad things happened to her this past week. She has lied all the way around.
She lied to CPS and the Courts.And her infant was removed from her care for molestation charges against her and her abuser. She thought we were all stupid.
She tought she could play with God.
Ironically, the one that was Wicca is fighting more than ever. She really needs prayer. Her whole family is coming at her.
She found out two days after she she was saved that she had a sister who committed suicide three weeks earlier as did a brother two years earlier due to the the father sexually abusing them. She has a daughter from the incest living in the family home.
As I said, keep her in your prayers.
Some of these women are the bravest people I'll ever meet.
Someday, I'll tell their whole stories.
Someday, I'll tell mine.
Even my children don't know all of mine. I am only now remembering some of it through hearting some of others in groups and going throught he counseling here.
I knew I was a survivor but didn't know to what degree until recently.
I have fought for life literally since I was born.
We had church again this morning here and it was wonderful.
We have a prayer meeting every night in my room.
I have such a peace about me now tha tI have never had in my life.
My case manager is a strong Christian woman too and she slips me notes of encouragement.
I don't hear from my kids as much as I'd like but that is OK.
I got an E- mail from Keisha today.
I miss her a lot.
She has a boyfriend but I reminded her the only boy she is allowed to kiss is her Dad!
And, she can't get married until her Nana gives her approval.
In the future I am going to copy down from some notes I have on domestic violence.
Some of the statistics are stggering.
For instance-
Most women are wearing blue jeans when they are sexually assualted not something sexy and alluring or provacative.
The average age for sexual assualts is from 16-25 and almost all sexual assailaints are known to the victim.
Battering is the most common injury to women above car accidents or hosehold accidents.
These are just a few of the statistics.
Domestic Violence always escalates.
Women need to know this information. Men do too.
It doesn't get better without intervention. Praying it away isn'y going to help. Wishing it away isn't going to help.
Turning your head isn't going to make it go away.
If you think its going on, its going on. It doesn't have to be physical to be abuse. That was the mistake I made. I truly didn't know that it was abuse becase it words or attitude or presece. I didn't know it escalates. I didn't know the cycle of violence.
The only element of the cycle that eventually leaves is the honeymoon or romance stage and that's the one we victims try to get to. We will sometimes hasten the tension phase to get through it.We want to get through the tension and battering phase to get to the honeymoon phase where everything is wonderful for awhile so we can breathe again for awhile.
But the cycle gets shorter and shorter.And eventually that phase leaves altogether.
Anyone out there going through it needs to know this. Develop a safety plan and call a women shelter and plan your exit. You are at the most risk when you are leaving. If you know someone who is planning this be supportive.
They are in the most danger at this time.
Help them do not hinder them.Please.
Get them to a safe place.
If you are planning to leave do not go to afamily member or friend's home. Your abuser will look for you there. Go to a women shelter. They are experienced and are protected.
There are things I am afforded here that I could not have accomplished on my own on the outside.
Coming here was a God thing.
I will write more when I can.

1 comment:

DailyLinks said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

I have a Cold Sore site/blog. It pretty much covers Cold Sore related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)