And Now for This Update

Hello, this is Dan, Margie's son, reporting from the Dayton outpost of her blog Me, Myself, and I.

Last night our family called my mom to wish her Happy Valentine's Day greetings and to catch up. Late last year she moved to California to be with her friend Bob, and things seem to be going well.

They don't have a computer, which, in effect, means that she's not been able to get online at all. She's asked me to post an update here and to check her e-mail - to clean out her inbox.

Her SSI hearing has been moved from Texas to California, and it's coming up within the next month, so keep her in your prayers. It sounds like it's her versus the entire state in order to get any disability benefits.

That's all for now. To keep track of what's going on in my life, head over to my blog, "Journey Inside My Mind".

Make it a great day!

Time to Dust This Off!

Hello out there. Anyone? It's been such a long time since anyone posted here. This is Dan, Margie's son.

She asked me to check her e-mail and clean it out. I just saw that she has accumulated 136 new messages over the last 4 months!!!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Happy Birthday to my Mom, the Official Mom of 'Journey Inside My Mind'! If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be!

crossposted to Journey Inside My Mind

Email Update from Margaret

This is Dan, Margie's son, guest-posting. Mom sent us this email yesterday:

Hey daytonians, Just wanted to touch base. I never know when is a good time to call. All is well with me. Lab results from recent Pap test showed " there had been presence of abnormal tissue but has healed." God is great. Chances of happening on its own, None.
Bob is great. It looks like this may be it. Still going to CA in September and it lookes like I'll be going back after coming back to Texas to finalize everything here. SSD is moving along too..
Hope you all are well and good. Give Keisha a Nana kiss for me.
Love Mom

Hiya! Dan here. This morning Mom sent an email to her family members about her Mom:

This is to remind everyone Mom would have celebrated her 89th birthday today.

I know we all wish she were here to celebrate with together. However take a minute to pause and just thank her for the contribution she made to your life personally.

I think that would be a great way to honor her today.

I think of all you daily and with much love,
Margie

My grandma, Loraine Mitchell, died when I was in kindgergarten (1975). The only thing I remember about it was when my Mom took me back to school. She told my teacher that if I looked like I was feeling down, it was probably because of Grandma's funeral.

I don't remember a whole lot about my grandma. I remember that Steph(my sister) and I would visit her and Gramps at their home at 52 Graham Street in Cincinnati. She would make us "brown cows" and "pink cows" (drinks made with ice cream and either root beer or cream soda, respectively).

I also remember that she showed us how to make a flower using some facial tissue, a pipe cleaner, and a little spritz of cologne. We would fold the tissue alternatively, like you would to make a fan. Then we would wrap an end of the pipe cleaner around the middle of the folded tissue. After that we would carefully peel the tissue up on both sides to create the petals of the flower. Then we'd spray a small amount of cologne to give our flower a scent.

I vaguely remember she called me "Little Bit." It turns out that she was petite herself, not much taller than 59 inches. I see a lot of her facial features in my aunts and uncles, and sometimes in me.

She also had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, which contributed to her death. I found some posts from Mom's blog about it from the April 2003, when Mom had an echo cardiogram done:

• Familial Dilated Cardiomyopathy Project
• Mom's personal reflection on being with her mother (my grandma) during her last days

I encourage you all to pray for my Mom. She has always been prone to feeling down on birth and death anniversaries.

crossposted to Journey Inside My Mind

Hiya! Dan here. I thought I'd post somewhat of an update on Mom. She's been working at a Tex-Mex restaurant she used to work at before she moved up to Ohio in 2002. She's also found someone with whom she's had a lot of conversations. I'll have to let her talk to you more about that.

There is a lot of drama going on in my family down in Texas, to be sure. For those that don't know, I have my mom, former stepdad, step-brother, and half sister. My half brother is stationed in the Navy somewhere near the Persian Gulf right now. I still consider them family. I've always thought of them as brothers and sisters, really.

Anyhow, I should let Mom elaborate more about what's been going on. She's been more close to the situation than I am. And I know that Mom will post when she gets a chance.

Signing off from Dayton, Ohio USA...

By the way...



find out more at blog.meetup.com

Hi everyone! It's really me, myself, " I " am checking in.
I need to thank Dan for filling in as he can. I can always count on him. I don't know how he gave birth to a wonderful mother like me but he did!!!
Yes, I got to the motel for the next phase of my shelter stay and as I am approaching my door I hear an excited voice holler, Margaret. I stop and look in the window of the room next to mine and who is it but the " thief" and her mother.
She was so excited to see me.
She couldn't believe her fate that God would put us in adjoining rooms.
No, I could. I have learned throuhout my life what a sense of humor God has.
She eventually went into a drug treatment program and is still there and I pray for her everday. Seriously. I wish her only the best. No one deserves to be saddled with condemnation and awful demons hanging over them.
Her mother and I have developed a friendship. She does not see her daughter through rose colored glasses.
She has a similar history as mine. We are both Christian women and support each other every day in our Christian walk.
She also has similar health concerns so we both can moan and groan together.
I found out yesterday that when I leave the motel they will hire me on the housekeeping staff. I used to work there a few years ago as the laundry person. That is a hard job.
So now I am in the process of trying to find a place.
There is a complex across the street so keep me in your prayers that this works out because I don't have a car. That will be next goal.
I have been working weekends at the Mexican Restaurant I used to work at but transportation is an issue.
I have faith that God will see me through this; sometimes I get discouraged. I am human. I just get back in the Word and rejuvenate myself.
I think I need to go back on the Depakote. I have noticed my thinking is kind of messed up sometimes. I am on three antideprressants but nothing in particular for the bipolar spefically.
I was turned down for SSD a couple of weeks ago so now we are into the appal stage again.
Life always kicks when your down doesn't it?
I got bad news from the doc last time. The last Pap test came back abnormal again.
So I was supposed to make another appointment.
When I went to make it the computer was down. I called this morning and he is booked up the rest of this month and they don't have his schedule for next month yet.
Why would I expect something else.
This is public assistance. However, I am grateful
If I can get my own place before the 10th the shelter will help me get lights and phone turned on and used furnishings. The program I am in now will pay the deposit.
So, Again keep me in your prayers.

Guest blogging for Mom

Hi to all regular, occasional, and new visitors to "Me, Myself, and I," the personal weblog of Margaret, aka Maggie and aka Margie. I call her Mom, and my daughter calls her Nana.

This is, of course, Margie's son, Dan, guest-blogging for Mom for the next several weeks or so. I maintain this blog, along with several others: head over to my homepage for more information, if you feel so inclined.

Mom reported in to us (we live in what you might call the "Dayton, Ohio USA field office") about a week or so ago. She wanted me to let everyone know that she's okay.

She found out that the "thief," whom she mentioned in previous posts, had been staying in the room next to hers. Fortunately, she was to leave the place the next day. Mom also brought the Ken doll and has found it to be significant in her therapy; i.e., a great way to take out aggression, etc. I'm sure you know what she means.

Last week, when she called, she got to talk with all of us: Keisha, my wife Jennie, and I. We made sure that Keisha got to talk to her Nana, because both of them miss each other dearly.

As you can expect, it is hard to share everything that's going on or has gone on in such a brief conversation, whether it be on the phone or a sporadic blog post such as this one.

Nevertheless, you have to try, huh?

More to come soon...

This has been Dan, Margie's son, reporting from the Dayton, Ohio USA field office of "Me, Myself, and I." Until next time... Make it a great day!

When You Need To Leave

Get professional advice. Develop a safety plan. Put some aside and a phone card and clothing and a set of car keys away from the house in a safe place.
Know that you are in most danger at the time you leave. That is why you should not go to a relative or friend's home. You are safest in a shelter. That is where you are protected and there are resources available that may not be available to you on your own.
Utilize them. Utilize this time to take care of you. It is not selfish; it is self-preserving. I had to learn this lesson. I am still learning it.
I will update as I can. Keep me in your prayers.
Thank you for all your encouragement and support.

Here is a group of elderly, couragous women demanding the right to be heard, respected and compensated by the Japanese goverment still today. We should commend them as its not there culture or in their usual way to do this.
Then there is the female circumcision issue in Africa and other nations and cultures. I, personally, have herd and read of this but to see it depicted wrenched my heart. To hear it described in graphic detail and how it is accepted practice even still today is horryifying.
My heart wrenches for my sisters of that culture.
I applaud all women who are surviving violence committed against them. As one line said in this film " we are the natural resource to populate the planet and we are being killed off." Does anyone care? I think lots of people care. It just takes someone raising awareness.
Next Thursday after seeing the play we are being given the opportunity to get up on stage and speak of our experience. I have made the decision to do this. Pray for me. It won't be easy.
I will be speaking of 51 years of abuse.I will need courage and strenght. I want to do this so I take control back from all my abusers.
I leave here tomorrow a different person than when I came in.
I was suicidal, despodant, desolate, discouraged, friendless, hopeless. I had no spirit left. I was defeated.
This shelter and staff has changed me into someone I have never been.
I know I will hard days out there ahad. This has been a controlled environment.
They gave me the resources and I had to do the work.
I will continue with support groups and counseling as I believe they are invaluable.
Anyone out ther in a domestic violence situation. Plan your escape. Call a hotline.

This may be my last post for a little while.
i am moving on to a new shelter program and won't have easy acces to a cpomputer. Stay in touch with me though.
We saw a video this morning and have been invited next week to our local college to see a play called the " Vagina Monolgues".
For those who may not have ever heard about this it was started in 1996 ( I think it was ) and the out reach is now worlwide to end violence against women across the world.
There was a documentary done recently on Lifetime which was very riveting and funny about issues concerning women and their struggles especially when it comes to violence committed against them.
For instance, a forgotten segment in our American population is the Native American women. There was a segment about a group of elderly Filipino women who were captured during World War 2 and were dubbed the " Comfort Women". Some were as young as 12 years old and forced, otherwised known as raped, by at least 12-20 Japanese soldiers on a daily basis.

This information is from a poster that hangs in the dining room at the shelter. I think its good information to put out.

Every two minutes another woman is raped. Or sexually abused. Or sexually assualted. In fact, more than 248,000 women,children and men were victims of of these violent crimes last year. If you or someone you know is a victim call the National Sexual Assualt Hotline operated by RAINN. It's free. It's confidential. And a counselor from your local rape treatment center is waiting to help anytime of day.
1-800-656-HOPE National Sexual Assualt Hotline
R Rape
A Abuse&
I Incest
N National
N Network
635-B Pennsylvania Ave.,SE. Washington DC 20003
www.rainn.org

Last night I found a Fake Ken doll laying on one of the bookcases. He was laying there with his arms streched out and that fake smile smirking at me. I grabbed him up and committed domestic violence on him.
He was the first male figure I have seen since December 22nd.
I did everything physical to him that had ever been done to me over my life. Two of the other women were with me. We were cracking up. We laughed so hard we were rolling on the floor. Kathy was snorting like a pig she was laughing so hard. The other woman was the America's Most Wanted crimal.
No matter what I did he wouldn't get that smirk off his face though.
He did get epilepesy after awhile. His head started bobbing around.
And we discovered that no mattered where you threw him he couldn't fly!
I know this sounds sick but it was theurapeutic.
We put a comment in the suggetion box that they needed to get dollar store Ken dolls for support groups and let the women commit domestic violence on them to release the anger and frustration that has built up. I am sure the counselors will have an idea that this was not healthy but I sure feel better. 51 years of abuse and I finally got to get a lot of out in a constructive way feels good.
And we thought about asking for a blue marker to draw bruises on him but thought that might be going a little too far. So Ken woke up this morning OK.
The staff person had to come out and see what we laughung about so hard.
We called him names to and he took it. He didn't talk back either.
I will try to update as I can and when I leave here I will have Dan be my liason as me being crazymaggiemay the roving reporter through the Houston shelter programs.
Pray for me folks.

Today was the pampering day. A group from the Houston North Junior League came out and volunteered to give us a luncheon and made baskets with some special spiced tea, a homemade neck wrap for when your muscles are aching ( which you know I will appreciate), a jar with homemade bath salts and a candle.
The luncheon was very nice. We were served with real dishes and silverware which was a treat because we usuasalyy have paper plates and plastic forks.
The tables were set festive.
We had a nice salad and and the main course was a rissotto and onion mixture and some kind of a ckicken breast with sour cream and I'm not sure whatever else but it was really good. I think it was rolled in a croissant and baked.
Dessert was a choice of a death by chocolate cake or ceesecake swirled with chocolate.
Hard choice but I chose the cheesecake. I could hardly move by the time I was finished.
One of the ladies was a Mary Kay Manager and she gave us skin care tips and had us do a manicure.
One of the ladies looked so much like my Jennie it was uncanny. I told her so.
She even had the smile and laugh.
It made me miss Dan, Jennie and Keisha.
Mary Kay Company has a foundation that supports breast cancer programs and helps fund 51 battered women shelters across the country.
A fact I recently learned is that every 15 seconds a women is battered somewhere in this country. Every 15 seconds.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------That took 15 seconds.
When I heard that it struck me to my core. It was like when I found out my sisters had also been abused.
It was one thing to know I was but quite another to learn so many other women walked the same walk.
It really hurts my heart to know this.
The house deal is going nowhere fst.
Right after I blogged the last time we got the rental application on the apartment up the street.
I really thought this was the place the Lord wanted me to be.
Anyway, on the ap they needed us to be able to prove we made 3X's the income of the rent which we can't do so that door is closed. As far as the other place we'll see. I have further investigation to do. And it may well be there is a place the Lord wants me to be that hasn't been discovered yet.
Not having a car is a huge obstacle.
Kathy used some of her food stamps today and one of the women with a car took her to the store and she cooked a fabulous meal. She made her chicken/spaghetti and she made a huge salad and Texas Toast. She was going to make Mississippi Mud Pie but ran out of time.
One of the other women is going to cook tommorrow. She said sh'll make the pie tommorrow. We just about can't move around here tonight.
They just started letting us have the priveledge of cooking ourselves on the weekend because the help they have on the weekend does such a poor job of cooking. They are like college students.
Last weekend we got DiGiorno Pizza with dough that wasn't done and hot wings that were still frozen. There's your sign!!
I will be leaving this shelter Thursday and going into another shelter program.
I will be put up at a motel that has a kitchenette.
I won't have easy access to a computer though. What I will have when I do get to one is some more interesting stories in the ongoing saga of my shelter experience.
Motel life. Now there should be some interesting blogging.
I may have to call Dan periodically and pass things along and have him update!
Kind of like the old time reporters.
This is crazymaggiemay reporting from somewhere in the greater Houston area......
signing off now

Today and the past couple of days are bad fibromyalgia days. We are going to get rain. I expect within the next 12 hours. I haven't seen a weather forecast; my body forecasts.
There has been a lot of drama again.
I decided I could make a lot of money by scripting a reality TV show or or a sitcom or drama series out of here.
I am serious. I know there is money to be made somehow.
This afternoon one of the women got a call from a friend who had to move hastily from an apartment and apparently left it in amess that the apartment people were going to have her arrested for leaving it dirty. She put in acall to the sheriff dept. about it and was awaiting the call back.
While she was waiting I made a jole that we would see her on America's Most Wanted.
There would be her picture with her her children and her decsription ( she has a distintive disability) driving south on the freeway with a description of the thief who was my roommate( she was at atraffic light yesterday and jumped into this woman's car) carrying Wal-mart and Kroger bags and large bottle of Sprite heading south to unknown destination. Has been known to be roomate of former person practicing witchcraft who wears many pierced earrings and plastic bracelets and size 7 mens's jeans with large pants pockets but thinks they are size 7 Medium because they say " M ".
Last known residence was a battered women's shelter.
If you see this women she is considered to be dangerous and is to be avoided. Call authorities immediately.
We were hysterical.
The police called her back and told her thew only thing that would happen is she wouldn't get her deposit back. Darn, took all the fun out it.
I find the fun in dysfunctional all the time.
Next week will be decision time. I will either be leaving or be staying for 2 more weeks but then my time is up.
Kathy and i found an apartment we like right up the street.
We can come back for groups. It is literally a block up the street. We have no car right now so that is a disadvantage. one of the women took her a couple of mornings ago early to try to find the car I mentioned in an earlier blog but it wasn't where it was supposed to be.
They left out at 6AM and were thinking they might even be shot at. In fact, it was the same America's Most Wanted woman who took her.
That same woman approched us last night with an offer to move about 50 miles south to a 6 bedroom house with a guy she knows as a friend where there is a pool and a jacuzzi, etc. and we could live very cheap and each be able to save for a car.
It seems like one of those things that sounds too good to be true.However, when we had church here Sunday the Lord had a word for me through a woman and He said I needed to walk in my faith and my blessings would be there. So do you see my dilemna?
Is this the blessing or a trick by Satan to lure me away?
When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia I was told I should have water therapy everyday.
Supposedly, the people who have this huge house just want to help we women because of our situation. You hear of these things happening but you also hear of people having nightmaririshish experiences because of these kinds of things too.
I am the oldest of the bunch. Like the Mom and big sister so I feel even more responsible to do the smart thing.
We have the option of going into another shelter program for a month also.
So next week we will decide something.
I talked to my ex-husband last night and found out that my ex-father-in-law is dying. I never much cared for the man yet I am saddened.
It brings up a lot of emotion.
I dearly loved my mother-in-law. She was a terrific woman.
I don't hate my ex and we are friendly and he of course is saddened by this news.
I was in the family for 22 years and 2 of my children are part of the family so I am still connected.
I am in contact with the kids of course.
None of us are fond of the grandfather with good reason.
It just makes me miss the grandmother. She was my mother in my adult life as I lost my own mother at 23years old.
I was the daughter she never had.
I never was back in her house after her funeral. I just couldn't go back. And the distance made it easy to stay away and then finally the divorce. I couldn't imagine pulling up in front of the house and she not coming out front to welcome us or not being in the kitchen telling me how I could help.
She was a strong Christian woman.
I knew I was getting older when once she offered me some clothes and I actually took them because I could see me wearing them and not because I felt like I should not to hurt her feelings !
God rest her soul.
The lady that did the money management group came back last night and gave a talk on organizing.
What a great talk it was. By the way, the book is called, " The Best of Cheapskate Monthly " by Mary Hunt.
She also has a newsletter you can subscibe to. I really reccommend the book. As soon as I get some money ahead Iam going to get the newsletter.
Great advice.
Tommorrow we are having " Pampering Day". I am not sure what they are doing but I am sure it is going to be nice.
I know our 2 case managers are watching the toddlers. This is a riot because one is single and the other just got married at the holidays. They are scared to death!!!!
We are cracking up over this.
They are both so sweet. The staff here is great.
I'll let you all know how the day goes.
We got to open a checking account with a dollar by the way.
I'll let you all know how Saturday goes.
Pray for me.

National FMS - CFS Database Banner

Hi. It's Dan, Margie's son, here. I'm adding the banner to the blog template. You can, too! Here's the page with the code you'll need.

I've also revised the template so that the posts are "spread out" more on the page, if you happen to use a higher screen resolution.

Now, let's see how this looks...

Tonight is a potpourri of thoughts. I have felt so awful all day. The weather is terrible; it is cold and wet. I ache so bad. Kathy and and I were required to move to a different room the day before yesterday and the beds are horrible.
Today one of the ladies felt so bad for me she went out and bought some Ben-gay and one of those egg-crate mattress thingies. Wasn't that so sweet. i didn't have the money for something like that.
You would have laughed watching me trying to take it out of the package.
Watch the cripple who can hardly move try to get the spongy material away from the plastic!!!!
It will be interesting to see how I can do my chores tonight. We had two exit yesterday so we have extra chores tonight.
Let's see how Christian some of these women REALLY are, huh?!
Kathy says she wants all of us to sing the " loolipop song " from the Munchckins of the Wizard of Oz movie at her funeral amd one of the girls here has perfected it so well. We were rolling laughung watching her do it.

Lasdt night A group came from a Copsmetology College to give us manicure. Badly needed and and greatly appreciated. We have had a bank come and let us open an account with a dollar. And a lady on money management came and gave a talk on time and money money management. She reccommened a book by Mary Hunt I think it was> I have the book in my room . I will check the title and author and get back to you but it is great and sensible advice.
Well, almost tome for house meeting.

I had to stop to do my nightly chores but had some time and wanted to come back to the subject.
Through support groups and counseling I learned I never got what I was supoosed to get from either parent and was abused by both in different ways. It was hard to face and to come to grips with the recognition of all the facts of this; especially from my mother. You have to understand, we were raised that in our house she was revered. She was put on a pedestal.
To have to recognize that I suffered abuse from her all my life while she was alive and and suffered " failure to thrive" at her hands is pretty hard to face. I love her but do not like what she did. I love my father but do not like what he did.
I don't know if I can say I love my brothers. I know I can say I hate what they did.
All those things formed me to make incorrect choices as a young adult.That led me into further abuse.
I suffered some pretty unspeakable abuse at the hands of my first husband. I have remained reluntanct to talk about about it because of the kids. I have kept quiet for for 35 years.
I have protected him by protecting them.
Yet the memories are still there as real as yesterday; just as many of the memories of my childhood.
I've remembered things and events from childhood that I hadn't recalled in all these years until being here.
I was never safe to recall them until being here.
I was never safe to discuss them until being here.
There was one man once in my life for 18 months that I think really loved me and I sent him away. I couldn't believe in it. Nothing good ever really happened to me. How I regret that decision.
Self-fulfilling prophesy I guess.
My parents were so damaging to my self-esteem.
I was raised to believe that the boys were better than we girls.
I was raised to believe that because I was premature I was worthless and costly, One brother told me that I meant that there was going to be more of nothing.
I spent my life trying to make up for my existence.
Until I came here I don't think I ever felt I belonged somewhere except when I had my own place for awhile.
Its kind of pitiful to be 51 and first learning some of these skills.
I don't really primp or care what I wear. I should. I observe other women. I think I am going to but I never get around to it.
I just have never really learned how to do all of that.
And i have gained so much weight over the last few years that I don't even feel good if I would do it.
And when you are beaten down emotionally you don't want someone to notice you.
You want to fade into the background.
I believe a new me is emerging.
The caterpillar will become the butterfly eventually. As it happens in nature it is a struggle. If the struggle doesn't happen the butterefly dies.
It has to do it on its own.

I have thought about the subject matter I have written about since stating to wtite this blog. Being A Bipolar; having chronic pain with arthritis and fibromyalgia; being an incest survivor; living in my Christian faith; living in my home state of Ohio and living with my wonderful son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter
and granddog, Jake; moving back to Texas to be with the one I loved and then to be abused and to chronicle the events of the shelter life and the stastistics I have learned.
I guess the domestic violence issue is the hardest to write about because it is about the ones you love. For me it starts from the ones who gave me life and to whom I should have been able to look upon for help and guidandanceand safety.
I wonder did I do that effectively for my own children since I didn't know what it was for myself.
It scares the hell out of me to think I could have failed them in such a basic way.
It really does. The love I have for them is so overwhelming it makes my heart want to burst. They all just don't know.
I have tried to control my emotions in recent years to allow them to be themselves and not overpower them with my own stuff.
Kids, your Mom does and always will love you.

Is your relationship based on power and control?
Physical and sexual assualts, or threats to commit them, are the most apparent forms of domestic violence and sre usually the actions that allow others to become aware of the problem.
However, trgu7lar use of other abusive behaviors by the batterer , when reinforced by one or more acts of physical violence, makeup a larger system of abuse.
Although physical assualts may occur only once or occassionally, they instill threat of future abuse or violent attacks and allow the abuser to take control of the woman's life and circumstances.
The Power and Control Diagram is particularlarly
helpful in understanding the overall pattern of abusive behaviors which are used by a batterer to establish and maintain control over his partner.
Very often, one or more violent incidents are accompanied by an array of these and other types of abuse. They are less easily identified, yet firmly establish a pattern of intimidation and control in the relationship.
____________
The Power and Control Wheel
-Intimidation-
Making her afraid by using looks, actions and gestures; smashing things;destroying her property;abusing her pet(s);displaying weapons;
-Emotional Abuse-
putting her down; making her feel bad about herself; calling her names; making her think she is crazy; playing mind games;humiliating her;making her feel guilty;
-Isolation-
contolling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads and where she goes;limiting her outside involvemement; usiing jealousy to justify actions;
-Minimimizing,Denying,&Blaming-
making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously; saying the abuse didn't happen; shifting the responsibility for abusive behavior; saying she caused it;
-Using Children-
making her feel guilty about the children by telling her she is is a bad parent or by telling her the children need a two parent home; threatening to hurt the children; using the children to relay messages;using visitation to harass her; threatening to take the children away;
-Economic Abuse-
preventing her from getting or keeping a job; making her ask for money; giving her an allowance ;taking her money;not letting her know about or have access to fmily income;
-Male Privelege-
treating her like a servant;making all the big decisions; acting like the " master of the castle"; being the one to define men's and women's roles;
-Coercion and Threats-
making or carrying out threats to hurt her;
threathening to commit suicide or report her to welfare; making her drop charges;
making her do or participate in illegal things;
The Cycle of Violence
Phase 1-Tension arguing
Phase 2-Violence battering
Phase 3-Romance making up he is sorry it won't ever happen again
Phase 3-Romance