Thursday, July 03, 2003

Wow, it's Thursday already. They say the older you get the faster time goes. I suppose I have turned into " one of them. "
You know who I'm talking about. Them; those old people you observed while growing up. You swore you would NEVER be one of them but what did you know when you were 8 or 12 or even 25?
It slips up slowly. The eyes start playing tricks on you. I think that is how it starts. Then the joints start acting up. Before long you put on those extra pounds because you don't move around like you used to. Then the gray hairs slip in. One day you don't hear as well as you used to either.
Recently, I saw myself ( not me or I!) passing by the mirror; I suddenly stopped. I was HER. I had turned into my mother!
That isn't a bad thing. I loved my mother. I just didn't want to be her.
What happened to the svelte 25 year old that could get away wearing mini- skirts? Or the 32 year old that could clean the whole house all day, do 8 loads of laundry and still have supper on the table by 5:00.
When did she disappear and my mother took over my body?
It's not the end of the world. It is strictly an observation.

One of the neat things when I was hyper-manic was that I could do so many things at once. I was the one anyone else called on to get things done.Plus, I was supermom and superwife. Sometimes I am tempted to go off my medication just to be " her " again for awhile. I don't go off it because I understand thre consequences.
It is a real problem for bipolars to stay on medication. I wonder if sometimes it isn't that we just grieve for what we perceive as the " good, old days".
They really weren't all that good if we look at the whole picture. That is another problem we don't always think it all the way out.

Tomorrow, Dan, Keisha and I ( not myself or me! ) are going to see the President speak. Dayton is celebrating 100 years of Flight. I wrote about this in an earlier blog.
President Bush will come in around noon to speak about the celebration.
Having lived in Texas and the Houston area I am intrigued by the Bush's. President Bush was my Govenor before he was my President.
I may not agree with all the policy of the administration however I am proud that he abd Laura have brought back the dignity to the office. I know the family is a prayerful family as well as just being a large family and all that comes from it.
*I'm sure the twins got a " what for" from MOm and Dad as well as Gampy and most asuredly from Gammy.

I am looking forward to Sunday when I will see some of my siblings and their children. I haven't seen them in 9 years. We are supposed to have good weather.

I received a mailing from Mary's Hope today. There is powerful messages and encouragement for those of us who are survivors of sexual abuse. I encourage anyone who has this experience to chech out their I have personally met with Diane and Sherry and they are led by God in this ministry.
The concept of spiritual healing from this abuse is so crucial.
I have written on this before and will continue to do so. I will repeat to anyone who survived this abuse, "its not YOUR sin".
You don't own it and God is there for you.
Why did you have to experience this? I don't know. I only can tell you that you aren't alone. I believe you.

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