Thursday, May 29, 2003

Today, Bob Hope is 100 years old. It is kind of hard to believe. I guess I am getting older. I remember all the TV shows and feeling proud that he was one of many " Buckeyes " that were famous; Roy Rogers, Doris Day to name a couple of others. I grew up a few blocks from where Doris Day grew up. Her real name was Klingelhoffer.
So to Bob Hope-- Happy Birthday and thanks for the memories!

I have so much on my mind lately. I have a very troubled spirit.
I really miss the man I left behind in Texas. I believe he is my true love. I know he is my best friend. Yet there are issues that separate us. I have been in constant prayer about him. And, I've let go and let God. He is THE miracle worker. I trust in my faith that somehow this can be resolved.
My Dad always referred to God as " The Big Guy ". So if I refer to him that way you will know what I mean.

Jennie started her orientation for her new job yesterday.She said it was very boring. She will be a terrific nursing assistant but I think her real love might be cosmetology. She does a terrific job w/ Keisha's hair everday and has played around w/ her own. If I was inclined she would mess w/ mine too.
She is great w/ makeup. I think it nurtures a creativity within her.

Dan is looking into bartending school. Like he said its recession proof.

Keisha is completing her last day of preschool today. We have mixed emotions. She is growing up. In about 6 weeks she will go to kindergarten. And then in the blink of an eye she will be leaving her new school for junior high.
It seemed to me once all of mine went to kindergarten the time went so fast and then they were all grown up.

She can be so funny.Today as she was getting ready for school I was teasing her about something and then I walked away. She told her Dad that his mother was mixing her up!!
When I came back she told me I had to go to my room and put my nose on the wall! Her Dad said maybe I could go to my room and put my nose in a book!

I heard today about a lady (girl ) in Massachuetts whose father was taking pictures of her from a camera attached to the computer for the last four years. There isn't anything she can do because it isn't against the law. You can't voice record someone without their permission but you can do what he did.
She is working now to have the law changed.
Good for her. And I applaud her mother for throwing him out of the house when she was told and filing for divorce.
What a scumbag. She must feel so betrayed and used.
No one knows what a victim carries with them in a situation like this. I will keep her in my prayers. And I hope she gets some counseling.

Everytime I hear of these kind of situations I become so enraged at the perpetrator. I firmly believe a sexual offender will never be rehabilatated except maybe with the help of a spiritual rebirth.
I know some and none have stopped reoffending when not in jail.
I don't know what it is in their makeup that makes them do this and I am sure they live with their own personal torment but I don't know of too many who are even truly remorseful.

I am not apolegetic for my feelings. I do wish them recovery if that is what they are truly after.
I have known so many people who can put on a con job over my lifetime that I have had to put up a guard for myself to catch them in progress and not let it continue.
I don't let anyone slide anymore. I do not let myself be conned once I discovered that my trusting nature allowed these kind of people into my life and then ultimately betrayed that trust.
I try to appreciate the good God put inside me and protect that good from the evildoers that have surrounded me. I took responsibility that I allowed myself to be drawn to this kind of person because of my weaknesses and needs.
I always wanted to see the best in someone and although that may be noble it is not practical.
People who are users will find people who show their weaknesses as I used to and prey upon them.
Again, I can pray for that person but I don't have to have them involved in my life.
Even Jesus had his limits of suffering the evildoers.

I have been cycling some lately. I am taking my meds; I think its because there is so much going on personally. And I am having a particularly bad episode of fibromyalgia these last couple of weeks.
There are days I just want someone to call the vet and have me put to sleep!
I have only been sleeping a couple to 3 hours a night which is bad if you are bipolar. I wake up hurting and then the things that are on my mind come into my head again so between that and not being able to get comfortable keep me awake.
I know the middle of the night infomercials pretty good now. There is one terrific sounding fat reducer product but it costs $158.00 so that's out of the question.

I hope everyone has a blessed day!

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