Saturday, May 10, 2003

Today, I am going to touch on a subject that many will wish I wouldn't. If this subject bothers you then by all means go to another blog. However, maybe it bothers you because I hit a nerve.
I am aan incest survivor. I won't go into all the details but I had more than one abuser. Today, I met with 2 remarkable women from Colorado who are in this area doing work on this subject.
Today, I am talking to the ones who need and want to hear what I have to say. Some may say with all the recent headlines from the Catholic Priests abusing young people why do we need to hear about this again. It isn't just the priest; its anyone, somewhere.
I want the ones who need to hear what I have to say to really hear me. IT'S NOT YOUR SIN. You didn't cause this. You couldn't stop it.But you did do something heroic. You survived! I believe you. Each victim has their own personal story and their own issues. Your story is unique because you are unique.
I am talking to the dark hole that is in your soul which has been consumed with shame, guilt, anger, hurt, revenge, fear and rage. Maybe you never even made the connection before. It's time to heal. I believe IN you. I won't promise that it will be easy. It will probably be the hardest work in your life. I ask you to think about this; what is your alternative?
I know where you are. I've been there . I am just a little farther ahead. I will listen because I know you need to be heard.And there are many of you out there.
That is the sad part. There are so many of us; too many of us.
You have a voice now. Use it. By keeping your secret you have empowered your abuser(s). Now, empower yourself. I will help you if you want.
There is a place in your soul that has been ripped open;flapping, hemoraghing.That's the part that so many fail to recognize needs to be addressed.
Your soul is YOU. Do you understand?
There is a God ( I choose to believe in God but you can call the knowledge whatever you are comfortable with) and He knows the secret you have held inside. He even knows what you can't remember, maybe never will. In Matthew6 God tells us what He knows about us and how He will provide for us. We just have to get out of the way and let Him.
You may even be asking, " Why me?" I used to and then it occurred to me one day, why not me? I wish it hadn't happened yet I choose to take my lemons and make lemonade.
Jesus asked His Father in the Gardn, " WHY has thou forsaken me?" But, he goes on to say " Your will, not mine be done".
So, why not me? Am I more special or unique than Jesus was?
Why didn't God hear me when I cried out? I don't know the answer. I think maybe it was that this was part of a plan for other good.
God doesn't create evil only good. This I do know. Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy.
Had I not had my experiences I couldn't know what you are feeling.
If you choose you can contact me at my E-mail address: crazymaggiemay2003@yahoo.com

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